Mexican Soccer Voodoo

| Wednesday, April 11, 2012 | |

Thelema Mexican Soccer Voodoo Image
Mexico has a long history of losing to the United States in World Cup soccer competitions. But this year they have enlisted the power of black magick in order to break their losing streak - with a little help from Radio Shack.

An advertisement in the sports daily Record on Tuesday invited fans to clip coupons and redeem them at their local Radio Shack store for a voodoo-doll likeness of a U.S. player. The hope was that a little black magic might help Mexico break a decade of futility on the road versus its northern neighbor.

"Help end the losing streak so Mexico advances," the ad read.

An illustration showed a pair of scissors slicing off the leg of a doll in a U.S. jersey that was bruised, crying out in pain, leaking stuffing, and stuck with pushpins.

"We imagine a group of young people gathered around the TV supporting Mexico and applying punishments to our rivals so that the team can qualify," Record said in a statement.

There is no word yet as to whether or not the American team will respond with their own etheric assault, but if anyone from the team would like to hire me to cast a counter-curse go ahead and shoot me an e-mail. My rates are not that unreasonable, at least from the perspective of a large sports franchise with millions of dollars in the bank.

Naturally, Radio Shack downplayed its first foray into the realm of dark sorcery.

Daniel Paz, marketing manager for the newspaper, told The Associated Press the promotion was a lighthearted attempt to make next month's rivalry game more enjoyable for fans.

"It's a toy," Paz said. "There's no intention of being anything serious."

But that's just good public relations. I mean, who would want to buy a potentially haunted stereo? That is, aside from me.

I suppose we'll find out when the match is actually held whether or not this voodoo ploy is successful. It may be "a toy" and all, but if Mexico wins it likely will owe some of its success to the power of the paranormal. After all, giving you an edge is what magick is "supposed" to do.

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